Back for now…
So I’ve been missing from my blog for a while and it has been months since I last updated regularly. I have drifted away from here and I keep considering retiring from this place because in many ways I don’t need it anymore. I am a lot stronger than I was and I am not sure there is much point in saying “things are okay, I guess” a million times.
When things were worse, I needed the support and safety of this blog. It was a good outlet for my thoughts and feelings, especially as they were so awful and overwhelming a lot of the time. It was a good place to rid myself of the never-ending woe-is-me thoughts. The madosphere provided a much-needed support network and I am grateful for that, but thankfully I haven’t needed it much at all lately. The odd time that I have needed to talk, I’ve tended to reach for twitter instead. The rest of the time I’ve been okay managing alone.
I don’t want to stop writing here completely though and so I’m reluctant to retire. I like the reassurance that my blog and support network is here if I need it. There have been times recently when I’ve wished for the time to sit down and write, but I haven’t had the chance. There are still plenty of thoughts and feelings that I need to process and writing is an important method for me to do that. I have always used writing to cope with things and I think I need to start doing it more. When you get out of the habit though, it is hard to start writing again. I spend a lot of time wondering what to write or how to start. It seems impossible to try and catch up on everything that has happened since I was last here and I just get overwhelmed and decide not to bother.
I am going to try though. I am drafting a few posts. I don’t have the time to finish them now, but I will soon.
Today I had occy health, tomorrow I have a therapy assessment. Both are giving me plenty of things to think about.
Just realised that you can’t see my tweets to you as you’re not following me and my account is private! If you add me (@bpded) and send me your WordPress username I’ll send you an invite to my private blog as well ~ going through a very similar thing to you right now x
BPD~ED
Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 9:10 am
Hi hun. I shall add you back on twitter. My username is intothesystem. Thanks x
intothesystem
Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 1:20 pm
Fabulous thank you! I shall add you to my blogroll forthwith :) x
BPD~ED
Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 2:03 pm
How did your appointments go, hun? Hope all was as well as could have been expected.
I loved your recent comments on my old blog post, by the way. You really gave me a couple of good ideas ;)
Hugs
Pan :) x
Pandora
Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 3:56 pm
I shall blog on the topic of the appointments soon.
Glad you saw the comments! I’ll have to PM you to discuss strategies!
intothesystem
Monday, 6th September 2010 at 10:37 am
Hope the therapy appointment went ok (read tweet about occy health)…
It’s really lovely to read that things have been okay.
Take care,
Differently
differentlysane
Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 11:45 pm
Thanks hun. Therapy appointment was a bit of a waste of time – I will explain in a post asap. xx
intothesystem
Monday, 6th September 2010 at 10:38 am
Write as and when you need to. I know what you mean about feeling like you’re repeating yourself, I’ve felt like that when I’ve been saying “down, down… still down, OK!” I find I only ever write when something has changed and as a result my postings have dropped off as much as yours. Just saying I know how you feel and it’s OK.
Karen
Sunday, 5th September 2010 at 5:08 pm
Thanks. It can be quite hard to think of new things to say when you just feel the same all the time. That said, there have been things going on and I still haven’t sat down to blog, so it’s not just that. I do want to try to get back into it though.
intothesystem
Monday, 6th September 2010 at 10:49 am