Into the system…

blogging, work, mental health, therapy, disability, benefits and more…

Short days…

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The days feel so short now. When I was at work I did long hours. Often twelve or thirteen hour shifts. Now I’m at home, I’m getting up late, very late even (any time from 9am – 1pm, rather than 6.45am) and the days just disappear. My partner comes home a lot earlier than I used to, so he’s around most of the day and I don’t get much time for myself anymore.

I went for a swim today. It might have taken me until 3pm to motivate myself enough to get dressed, but I made it. Resorted to my emergency swimming costume as I still haven’t found one I’m satisfied with. It’s rubbish and needs knots tied in the straps as it’s too big, but it does the job I guess. I did 50 lengths too (23m pool), which I was quite pleased with considering I haven’t swam lengths for about a year. I used to do that much almost daily, but I’m surprised I could just do that straight off. I am a little tired now though.

Tonight I’m meeting a friend from work. I told her why I was off the other day and she suggested we caught up for dinner and a chat, which was lovely of her. I’m looking forward to it. I miss my work friends. I’m scared too though. I’m not feeling all that great after pushing myself with the swimming and I’m tired. Hope I can keep my mood up enough over the next few hours.

The nothingness still continues really. I just feel like I’m in limbo. That so-so mood between feeling ok and not – I guess the same one Seaneen describes at the start of her post.

Tomorrow I hope to find more time to write – time to write a proper post, rather than this dull description of life. I can dream, I guess?

Written by intothesystem

Monday, 7th July 2008 at 5:47 pm

One Response

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  1. Hope dinner went well! Is she the kind of friend you can share stuff with?

    Swimming was always something I was bad at, I used to run – although the IDEA of swimming always appealed. me and water just don’t get on great though.

    Hope that nothing phase shifts soon, it’s horrible isn’t it? Nothing like a grey life to feel like it’s dragging on for ever. Could you escape to a café where you can be anonymous and have some time to yourself? Look after yourself, sod the chores, and I hope you get some time soon!

    The Chuckle

    Tuesday, 8th July 2008 at 12:55 pm


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