Into the system…

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A Second Opinion…

with 2 comments

I went into my ward round this morning with some notes that I’d prepared in advance. I am fed up of going in to see my consultant and not knowing what to say to her. I am fed up of going in to see my consultant and forgetting everything that I want to share with her. I am fed up of the blankness that descends the second I walk into a room with her. So I was prepared. I have been trying to write the notes for a few days and found it quite difficult, but I did get some of it pulled together and managed to get them printed off when I was home yesterday. I handed her the notes as I went in and she read them quickly. I hate that moment. I want the world to swallow me up so I don’t have to sit there as she reads the inner workings of my useless and faulty mind. We get there in the end though and she finishes reading my notes and then begins to answer some of my questions in her usual evasive manner.

She wants me to see one of the other consultants here for a second opinion. I get the impression she is a little flummoxed by me and does not know where to go now. She wants me to see Dr P, who is a specialist in mood disorders, especially bipolar disorder. She warned me he is not in any way shape or form, touchy feely and I’ve heard from others that he is very medication focussed, so will probably listen to me talk for a little while and then dole out meds, but it might be interesting to see what he has to say. I am a little scared though. I hate seeing doctors for the first time.

Aside from the second opinion, she talked about working on my care plan with her on Thursday. The idea is we will work out a plan for when I am out of hospital. She has already contacted my NHS trust with the hope they can provide me some support when I am out of The Priory, but I do not really trust them to be any help. Maybe with a respected psychiatrist or two on my side rather than just a single GP, I might have a bit more luck. We will see I guess.

Finally, she wants to refer me for some long-term psychodynamic therapy. Probably in group format, but she needs to find something suitable to refer me to. I’m a little scared at the prospect and worry that I will dread it in the same way that Alison does, but I think group therapy would be better than one to ones. I find individual therapy a terrifying prospect. I guess we will see what happens.

So.. Despite the fact I was waiting for hours this morning, it was a useful ward round. I just hope Thursday is helpful. We will see I guess…

Written by intothesystem

Tuesday, 14th April 2009 at 4:54 pm

2 Responses

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  1. Useful is good, definitely better than nothing. Take care you x

    eccedentesiast

    Tuesday, 14th April 2009 at 7:33 pm

  2. Dr P was the one I was originally planning on seeing last year because of his specialism in Bipolar, if I am not manic now with the amount of spending I have been doing over two weeks I don’t know what I am… but hey no one gives a toss so why should I! Take care chick, hopefully (and I’d rather you where not in there…) when I am up there on the 6th to see Dr G in between London and Stockholm we’ll catch up for coffee if you like… – thinking of you x

    Alison

    Wednesday, 15th April 2009 at 6:03 pm


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