Into the system…

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Strange Appointment…

with 6 comments

Today I saw Dr G. It was slightly weird. She talked about her thoughts after meeting my Mum and Dad last week. She asked me if I thought my mum has problems too and I had to admit I thought she did, even if I know my mum would never admit it or seek help for them. She wanted to talk about how my mum’s inability to connect emotionally may have affected me as a child. It’s something I have thought about myself, but I don’t have any answers. Dr G is a psychotherapist as well as a psychiatrist so she had her psychoanalytical hat on. It was weird to hear her thoughts on the subject and it was clear she thought my mum had real difficulties emotionally and more importantly that her inability to show her emotions to me may have contributed to my problems now. She even suggested that my mum may have asperger’s syndrome, which was quite surprising. It seemed amazing that Dr G could suggest that having only met my mum for a few minutes and knowing what I’ve said about her, but reading up on it since, I think she may be right.

The thing is, I don’t know where this leaves me. It’s true that it probably had some impact on me growing up and may be another thing that has contributed to how things are, but I don’t see how thinking about this now will make my illness go away. It’s strange. I just don’t know how to react. I didn’t really know what to say when Dr G was talking to me about this. She still agrees that I have bipolar disorder and that my depression and mood swings are probably chemical, but she also thinks that this may be an added issue that I need to deal with. How I deal with it is an entirely different story and I don’t think she has the answer either.

We also talked about more comfortable topics such as medication. She wants me to come off the Haloperidol as it was only meant to be a temporary measure to combat the racing thoughts, agitation and hypomania of a few weeks ago. I’m apprehensive about stopping it as I don’t want to become agitated again and I am worried the insomnia will creep back. I am fed up of the constant sleepiness that the Haloperidol gives me, but it’s preferable to a mixed state any day. We shall see I guess.

In other news, my CPN was meant to come and see me yesterday for the first time but she cancelled. This means I am now seeing her on Monday. I was apprehensive so was a little annoyed when I got a phone call a couple of hours before saying she couldn’t come. It makes me feel as if I’m not important and makes me worry about the amount of support I am going to get going forward. The NHS really is crap.

Written by intothesystem

Thursday, 2nd July 2009 at 5:18 pm

6 Responses

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  1. It is rather strange that Dr G can make that assessment on seeing your mum on at just one appointment. God knows what she’d make of my dad if I took him in… OMG!!!!

    Having your CPN appointment cancel is not good, it doesn’t surprise me, I hope it’s made again soon for you, your need to have another appointment with them soon. Take care x

    Alison

    Friday, 3rd July 2009 at 5:39 pm

  2. Keep track of when and how often CPN appointments get cancelled. That way if you never see him/her and you have to ask for another you’ll have backup.

    I feel the same – yeah, a on of trauma caused by my parents in my past probably did exacerbate the development of my illness as a teen – but I’m kind of stuck with it now and my parents don’t come into it….

    DeeDee Ramona

    Saturday, 4th July 2009 at 2:11 pm

  3. Keep track of when and how often CPN appointments get cancelled. That way if you never see him/her and you have to ask for another you’ll have backup.

    I feel the same – yeah, a on of trauma caused by my parents in my past probably did exacerbate the development of my illness as a teen – but I’m kind of stuck with it now and my parents don’t come into it….

    DeeDee Ramona

    Saturday, 4th July 2009 at 2:11 pm

  4. *shoots daggers at CPN*

    Kate

    Saturday, 4th July 2009 at 7:58 pm

  5. *shoots daggers at CPN*

    Kate

    Saturday, 4th July 2009 at 7:58 pm

  6. Parents are funny things. So are doctors. You look after yourself x

    eccedentesiast

    Saturday, 4th July 2009 at 11:01 pm


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