Into the system…

blogging, work, mental health, therapy, disability, benefits and more…

EAP Therapy…

with 4 comments

I’m still not able to face the draft I started the other day, but here’s hoping I can try and complete a post for once.

In my last proper post I mentioned the EAP and the fact I was being referred to a therapist nearer to here. An appointment was arranged with a therapist based in Manchester and I attended last Thursday. The appointment basically consisted of CORE form filling. I knew I would have these forms to complete. I had the same forms to complete last time I used the EAP service, but I hadn’t expected them to take the whole session. I had expected the chance to at least talk a little.

The thing is, I don’t think I’d have talked given the chance anyway. I wasn’t comfortable with him and less so after completing the forms. I think he was surprised to have a client who could tick the inpatient boxes and the high risk sections. I’m not sure he knew how to deal with someone who suffers from severe mental illness as opposed to the work-place stress and occasional bereavement that he will be used to. I may have been paranoid, but it almost felt like he was scared of me. Don’t get me wrong. He seemed nice enough and I think he would have been good with his usual clients, but it just wasn’t a fit.

So. I rang back the EAP and told them I’d quite like to see someone else if possible. The original telephone counsellor had made a point of ensuring I knew I could do this before the therapist was allocated, yet I still felt like a nuisance. They got back to me though and told me they were trying someone else. The next day I had a missed call and voicemail from DP, my old EAP therapist. His number was still in my phone so I knew it was him before I’d even checked the voicemail. He had remembered me. I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing. I called him back and we made an appointment for Wednesday.

I am in two minds about seeing him again. I’d mentioned the other day that I was secretly hoping I’d be referred back to DP, but I’m now wondering if that is wise. I guess at least I know that I can talk to him. He knows some of my history (although an awful lot has happened since our last appointment!!).

I’m scared though too. When I last saw him, I was one of those work-place stress and bereavement cases that EAP therapists are used to. I was not the mentally ill patient, that has been through the system. Admittedly I was in denial about my mental illness back then. It was definitely there and I even started to enter the system as a result of our appointments, but I hadn’t tried to kill myself, been in hospital and the rest. Will he know how to handle someone with severe mental illness or will he be just as clueless as last week’s therapist?

I also looked back through the emails we’d exchanged last year. I remembered with horror that I’d sent him the URL to this blog! After our appointments had finished we’d been in touch a couple of times. I’d given him an update as to what had happened after seeing my GP and telling my bloke. I guess the fact I shared this blog with him, shows that I trusted him, but I had never expected to see him again. I don’t know if he’ll remember. Shortly after I emailed him this blog was found by my partner and I stopped writing for a while. I suspect if he did read he would have given up then.

I wonder if I should just remind him this blog exists, but I am a little scared about sharing it with a professional, especially one who will be in touch with my GP and CMHT. It would be easier than explaining things though. We only have three appointments (the one with the first guy still counts from my allocated four), so it will help speed things along.

I don’t know. We will see what happens tomorrow.

Written by intothesystem

Tuesday, 8th December 2009 at 3:33 pm

4 Responses

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  1. I’m still a little paranoid about the staff at college knowing about the blog now and I am certain one staff member is checking it often… she’s got into the habit of asking me daily if I am okay, it’s freaking me out! It was the say in group therapy, it came out I had a blog from another member and I was convinced the staff would find it and be reading… sometimes I think being anon would be a whole lot better!

    I hope tomorrow’s appointment goes okay for you… fingers crossed it’s better than last weeks and you get on with DP like before.

    Alison

    Tuesday, 8th December 2009 at 9:31 pm

  2. I may be doing this EAP thing. Or possibly getting a mentor. It’s all very confusing and slightly scary to me.

    I hope the guy you see again is less of a numpty than the last one!

    Karita

    Tuesday, 8th December 2009 at 10:10 pm

  3. Good luck- hopefully you’ll already have a rapport with this guy anyway, which should help things along?

    Kate

    Wednesday, 9th December 2009 at 12:45 am

  4. Hope it works out well and you can talk a bit this time

    The Chuckle

    Wednesday, 9th December 2009 at 2:52 pm


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