Into the system…

blogging, work, mental health, therapy, disability, benefits and more…


with 3 comments

Gone back to today. Was trying to save data as think email is separate but this can’t use much and is easier to use except often the editing box goes out of view which can be a pain to type in. Thank god for qwerty phone and nice buttons. I found it weird at first but can do it pretty damn quick these days. Wouldn’t go back I don’t think.

I may see the doctor today after all. Named nurse felt bad for double booking and has found me a slot. Apparently someone cancelled. Don’t understand how you’d cancel your ward round unless discharged or on leave and don’t think anyone has gone since last night. Don’t mind though if it means I see the doc sooner. Still don’t know which is mine. Dr H or Dr M. I think Dr M but not sure. Dr H is on holiday anyhow so is Dr M this week either way. Older lady doctor. Looks nice from pic on wall, but I find older women scary. In my experience they often seem to look down on us young folk, try to patronise or are judgmental. Shall see. Going to try hard to make this work. Written a list of guidelines almost. Treat me as an adult, keep me informed, understand I struggle to talk and like to write, understand memory fuzzy due to ECT etc. Hopefully she will understand. Also made mood chart and written about events leading up to admission and thoughts after. Hoorah for hypomanic productivity. Hope the notes help.

I’m still writing a lot. Worked out it must be well over 15000 words by now. Could be a dissertation or novel soon the way I’m going. Wouldn’t want to type it all up, but may copy Em’s diary series and write some snippets when I’m out some day. Would be good to have a bit of a log. Had ideas about a couple of posts too, comparing this place to The Priory and things. Most of it doesn’t make for interesting reading. I’m hyper, I’m bored, I’m hyper, I’m writing lots, I’m hyper, I’m bored etc. That’s pretty much it. I lot of it is broken writing, one topic then another, then another as I can’t stick to one thing. Admittedly there are pages of introspection, feelings. thoughts and frustration too, but a lot of nonsense in between. I am just keeping my pen flowing between texts and listening to music. Writing whatever comes into my head due to hypomanic verbal diarrhoea. Keeping my head occupied at least.

Argh going in early. Must go. Nervous!

Written by intothesystem

Tuesday, 12th January 2010 at 10:34 am

3 Responses

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  1. I want you to get a book called “Writing Down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg. It’s advocated free writing as a form of meditation. I think you would find it enjoyable. (It’s on Amazon and will prob be in your local library as well.)


    Tuesday, 12th January 2010 at 11:36 am

  2. ^It advocates

    (Ihave a cold and my head is fuzzy and glue-like.)


    Tuesday, 12th January 2010 at 11:36 am

  3. I find myself writing in class when I can’t concentrate on lessons or there is else going around upstairs to do what I should be doing… I just write and write skipping from different topic to topic!


    Tuesday, 12th January 2010 at 6:03 pm

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