Into the system…

blogging, work, mental health, therapy, disability, benefits and more…

Back for now…

with 9 comments

So I’ve been missing from my blog for a while and it has been months since I last updated regularly. I have drifted away from here and I keep considering retiring from this place because in many ways I don’t need it anymore. I am a lot stronger than I was and I am not sure there is much point in saying “things are okay, I guess” a million times.

When things were worse, I needed the support and safety of this blog. It was a good outlet for my thoughts and feelings, especially as they were so awful and overwhelming a lot of the time. It was a good place to rid myself of the never-ending woe-is-me thoughts. The madosphere provided a much-needed support network and I am grateful for that, but thankfully I haven’t needed it much at all lately. The odd time that I have needed to talk, I’ve tended to reach for twitter instead. The rest of the time I’ve been okay managing alone.

I don’t want to stop writing here completely though and so I’m reluctant to retire. I like the reassurance that my blog and support network is here if I need it. There have been times recently when I’ve wished for the time to sit down and write, but I haven’t had the chance. There are still plenty of thoughts and feelings that I need to process and writing is an important method for me to do that. I have always used writing to cope with things and I think I need to start doing it more. When you get out of the habit though, it is hard to start writing again. I spend a lot of time wondering what to write or how to start. It seems impossible to try and catch up on everything that has happened since I was last here and I just get overwhelmed and decide not to bother.

I am going to try though. I am drafting a few posts. I don’t have the time to finish them now, but I will soon.

Today I had occy health, tomorrow I have a therapy assessment. Both are giving me plenty of things to think about.

Written by intothesystem

Thursday, 2nd September 2010 at 10:43 pm

9 Responses

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  1. Just realised that you can’t see my tweets to you as you’re not following me and my account is private! If you add me (@bpded) and send me your WordPress username I’ll send you an invite to my private blog as well ~ going through a very similar thing to you right now x


    Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 9:10 am

    • Hi hun. I shall add you back on twitter. My username is intothesystem. Thanks x


      Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 1:20 pm

      • Fabulous thank you! I shall add you to my blogroll forthwith :) x


        Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 2:03 pm

  2. How did your appointments go, hun? Hope all was as well as could have been expected.

    I loved your recent comments on my old blog post, by the way. You really gave me a couple of good ideas ;)


    Pan :) x


    Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 3:56 pm

    • I shall blog on the topic of the appointments soon.

      Glad you saw the comments! I’ll have to PM you to discuss strategies!


      Monday, 6th September 2010 at 10:37 am

  3. Hope the therapy appointment went ok (read tweet about occy health)…

    It’s really lovely to read that things have been okay.

    Take care,


    Friday, 3rd September 2010 at 11:45 pm

    • Thanks hun. Therapy appointment was a bit of a waste of time – I will explain in a post asap. xx


      Monday, 6th September 2010 at 10:38 am

  4. Write as and when you need to. I know what you mean about feeling like you’re repeating yourself, I’ve felt like that when I’ve been saying “down, down… still down, OK!” I find I only ever write when something has changed and as a result my postings have dropped off as much as yours. Just saying I know how you feel and it’s OK.


    Sunday, 5th September 2010 at 5:08 pm

    • Thanks. It can be quite hard to think of new things to say when you just feel the same all the time. That said, there have been things going on and I still haven’t sat down to blog, so it’s not just that. I do want to try to get back into it though.


      Monday, 6th September 2010 at 10:49 am

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